This week I was reminded that I am spiritually limited by this body of flesh. Can anyone relate to being physically exhausted or sick (my husband might add being hungry to the list) and when in said condition, just not being able to take in the Lord's goodness? Intellectually, I know His goodness is never fleeting, but in that moment of physical weakness, there is a temptation to despair. I don't think that is too harsh a word for the moment. A couple of evenings ago, I had some much cherished and rare time after the kids went to bed. I spent a couple of hours reading Unspoken Sermons by George MacDonald. I was really encouraged and went to sleep dreaming of the Lord's embrace. Silly to think this time of refreshment would nourish me throughout the week. (And that the manna would last past the day of gathering) Last night, I was incredibly tired from the day and worn out from the baby and feeling a bit under the weather. Then after Clint came home late, also exhausted, and we became a bit irritated with each for who knows what reason (probably just because we were both tired) I sat on the couch and sifted depressing thoughts, more hopeless than hopeful; more critical than thankful. Nothing truly bad had happened all day; I was just worn out and weary. This morning, I got up refreshed from a full night's sleep and realized how silly it was for me to vacillate this way. But, I think maybe it is a good thing. My experience serves as a reminder that I am not created for this world, but a heavenly kingdom. One day I will not be hindered by this frail body or be sad to leave this world. How I long for the day!
And I am greatly encouraged by Paul's words
But he said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me. 10That is why, for Christ's sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong. (II Corinthians 12:9)
I am speculating that there is a wonderful lesson waiting to be revealed each time I court physical illness or exhaustion or weakness of any kind. There is an opportunity to allow Christ's power to rest on me to carry me through the weakness.
Lord, You only can rescue me from the pit I sometimes find myself trapped in when I have had a long day or when I muddle a relationship or encounter with one of your children and feel guilty and unworthy of You. When knowledge of You seems mere textbook and unreal and I doubt your love for me. Forgive me Lord for turning my back on You instead of running to your sweet embrace. Do what you will with my life and do not keep me from your consuming fire of purification even though I cringe from the mere thought of what that might look like. You know best and will only operate on me as you know best for me. Amen.
Wednesday, June 20, 2007
On weakness of all kinds
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4 comments:
Thanks for sharing this post Sandy! It speaks to me....you are a blessing!! -maria
Sigh. Amen.
Thanks for being so open about this Sandy. I needed it.
I gotta get my wife to read your blog. She would empathize with you and be encouraged too.
God bless.
Something that has since blessed me regarding this post came from a chapter from the G. MacDonald book I am reading discussing Jesus' temptation in the wilderness. First of all, MacDonald made the point that he didn't think Jesus could be tempted with evil, but instead he might be tempted with good, at least with a choice that might be rationalized to be a good thing. He speculated that it wasn't only stomach-biting hunger in itself that tempted the Lord to turn the stone into bread but knowledge that he didn't really have all his wits about him to even relate to His Father properly due to his depleted state of mind and body. "But it rises even into an awful duty, when a man knows that to eat will restore the lost vision of the eternal; will, operating on the brain, and thence on the mind, render the man capable of hope as well as of faith, of gladness as well as of confidence, of praise, as well as of patience. Why then should he not eat?" MacDonald goes on to answer by saying that of course it was contrary to His Father's will and Jesus was ever waiting for God to lead him in the next step. There was a lot there, but what related most significantly to my post was that Jesus has experienced, has lived out, the suffering associated with the inherent weakness of the mind and body. He knows what it is like to be so physically weak that your emotions, reasoning, mood, hope,patience,ability to worship, etc. are skewed. Through all that,He still gained victory and made that victory mine in the exchanged life. Great news! and something to remember the next time I experience weakness of any kind.
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